It's almost the end of the month and that means we go to court on May 7th! I am expecting the judge to give the parents more time since they are now having visits, which could be good or bad for us. If the ultimate outcome is that the children are RU'ed then at least we get more time. I finally got a hold of the caseworker yesterday, and felt somewhat relieved by the outlook she gave. However, she doesnt know anymore on what a judge will rule then I do, so my hope is just that, hope. She said she would be open to looking at the possibility of transitioning the baby sister into our care. I would like to keep the kids together if possible. She also mentioned the other foster family is willing to take N and B. I personally would not find it in their best interest to move them again. The baby is still young and would do better with a change then these two would. I just want what is best for the kids but I also want what is best for my heart. I guess time will tell.
Last night, N and I watched Dora the Explorer and we sang the songs and told Dora where Swiper was. As the evening went on he started to get tired and he would lean over and kiss my arm and rest his head on my shoulder. Every now and again I would catch him studying the way I sit and he would cross one leg over the other and act like he was holding the remote. If I got water with ice, he asked for water with ice too. He is an incredible little boy, so sweet and so very, very boy. If it has an engine he is all over it. He tells me when he hears a plane (which is often as the air force base is not to far from us). He knows I love Jeeps and point out every one he sees.
So this is it. This is love like I have never felt before. I look at this kid and I think "I can't wait to go to your afterschool activities. I can't wait to help you learn to drive or give you girl advice (or boy...I am progressive).
I can't wait to show the world I am your biggest fan
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