Court

So kristin and I went to court for the kids today. We arrived at about 9:30 this morning and after disrobing for the metal detectors, using the bathroom and waiting for the clerk to tell us where to go, we finally arrive outside the court room. The waiting room consisted of two rows of chairs, facing eachother and, of course, our kids bio parents, who were sitting seperate with several chairs between them. It wasnt hard to see that they were "over" eachother. He looked well kepts and it kind of surprised me a bit, considering all I had ever seen were mug shots. She, on the other hand, looked as if she had been drug from one end of the earth to another. Her hair was unkempt, her face suffered the look of a well worn drug addict. It made me sad. It's amazing how drugs can just ruin someone...and not to mention the other somones who depends on them. The bio- father entered a meeting room after being beckoned by his attorney. Ten minutes later he came out, looking unhappy and left the building. He never returned for the hearing. At about 11:10 we finally made it into the court room, the judge first addressed the fathers rights, she was informed he left and decided she would change his case plan to severance/adoption. Then she addressed the mothers plan. The attorney for the mother argued (although it was a faint argument at best) that the mother had been working 3 jobs and had a hard time completing her court ordered services. She also said that if the judge ruled severance/adoption then the maternal grandmother was interested in taking the children. The judge rules severance/adoption again and they set hearings for june, july and august. So now, we wait again. If the kids go to maternal grandmother then their mother gets them back after all, so they will get to see their mother and never live with her again. We already have trouble enough now that they have started visits, I cannot imagine what their poor little lives will be like.

So we wait. And we get kicked around like rag dolls and the kids fate is in the hands of a judicial system that protects a parents right to screw but not a childs right to have a decent upbringing. We wait and we grow bitter at the absolute lack of compassion existing in caseworkers and judges alike. We marvel at the stupidity of these bio parents and we are sad for the tiny little bodies that are supposed to be sleeping in the next room. We dont have time to feel sorry for ourselves right now but when we do...

One week to go

Next Monday we will be heading to court. CPS is pushing for severance for the kids, which, in turn, will give us the option to adopt them. They had a parental visit yesterday and this time it was Nathan who began acting out. Now, I am not a therapist and I hate to read in to every small thing a child does but he seemed quite aggressive last night. He kept hitting and kicking his sister, chasing her around with his hand back, as if he was going to club her and generally being obnoxious toward her. Now that could be because of seeing his parents or it could be because he is a younger brother and gets a rise out of tormenting his sister. Either way, it was enough to get his little butt sent to bed after dinner. I am hoping it was just a mood and this behavior doesnt continue. He's a sweet kid, just very confused.

The past few weeks K and I have been consumed with court. Kids take over your lives but that is noting compared to having foster kids. You not only deal with the kids, you deal with case workers, bio-family, lawyers, doctors, therapists, etc..and the kicker is, you always end up being the one who cares the most and has the least say in the well being of your kids. I pray the importance of NOT moving these children from our homes is evident to the judge. I pray she can see that we have been the ONLY source of stability and confort in their short little lives and that we love them as if they were always ours. I also pray that she will understand that it is important for us to raise their sister as well. I pray for a lot of things but- should none of it work out. I am thankful for what I do have. My life, my wife, my family and friends.